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#200
If my old Yellow Lab passes gas one more time, I will get up off the floor and put a cork where the sun don't shine. | kill him kill him kill him kill him kill him kill him




#232
There once was a robot | he liked to wear hats | But only because his programmer, Dr Elmer Rosenburger, had a comical sense of humour. And why not? Why shouldn't a robot wear a hat? Is it a crime? Robot schmobot thought Elmer as he taught the robot, called Kerslake, how to smoke a pipe... | Then Elmer had an idea... | The pipe fell out of Kerslake's artificial mouth, and as Dr. Rosenburger crouched down to pick it back up, he noticed something else on the floor.




#293
dsadsf adfd adsfsd adsfd adf d | It looked like something randomly typed, but that was the code to operate the Engine. I input the commands, praying that Doc wasn't just pranking me. | Why would he be? This task seemed serious enough, and I never used the Engine before this. Doc wasn't anything far from a person with a cruel sense of humour, but outright malice never manifested in the way he spoke to me.




#167
Who knew that a simple fall would lead to such an eventful day? | At first it was just an ordinary fall, full of clouds and rains and grumpy people all around. I was the same person, I suppose. | Walking along the streets of my hometown, carrying my umbrella over my head as small, soft drops of rain continued to bother everyone standing around, something changed in the atmosphere and I stopped at a park bench to investigate.




#243
There is a cat in house. | There is also a turtle, but we don't talk about him. | Every now and then we take our cat, Felix, to do modelling assignments. Timmy, the Turtle, gets quite jealous, but tTurtles (being unattractive), find it hard to get jobs as models. Just the way it is. I mean, I'm not turtlophobic or anything... | yet Timmy does tell stories of his grand parents, being tortoises. they've seen how the world has changed in the last two centuries. nevertheless interesting | Felix is often jealous too, but he hides it very well. His ancestors were all domesticated housecats, and they never lived quite as long as tortoises do. He wants to see the world change one day, he just doesn't know how.




#193
An elf walked into a bar. | Then, the elf sat down and asked the bartender for a gin and tonic. | Then, the gin and tonic said, "Ain't no way I'm lettin' myself be drunk by no filthy elf! Barkeep, pour me down the drain!"




#299
It was a dark and stormy night. | Then again, all nights were dark and stormy for him. With a ringing in his ears that wouldn't go away, wouldn't stop whooshing - and considering he was blind - Ezra had to rely on his skin to know if the sundown worth being frightened over.




#301
Dusk had already passed. Eduard would have to get moving. As a member of the prestigious Rastelle family, he had a reputation to uphold. A reputation for staring down red eyes in black forests. A reputation for staring down the sights of a rifle.




#300
Once upon a time there was a mouse




#250
This was a triumph... I'm making a note here:"HUGE SUCCESS"... It's hard to overstate my satisfaction... | That was before the first bombs flew out from under the clouds. We all looked back. "No they couldn't have!" shouted an onlooker. A loud ominous voice rang out from behind the crowd "Oh but I have!" Everyone turns to see.... | A wooden ship, sails crafted from white fire, sailing into the bay. Clouds of steam billow forth from around the base of the ship, shrouding everyone in smoke. From the deck, down jumps the man who called out, a ghostly shadow of a man.